the next round of firsts

We moved our formerly tiny newborn to her crib.  How is this possible?  How has she already been with us for 4 months, and is suddenly too big for her Pack & Play insert?

It feels like only hours ago that we were driving home from the hospital, me in the back seat with her, staring at her and panicking.  Would we ever sleep again, I wondered?  I stared at her so long that day, until I nodded off with my head resting on the base of her car seat, as if a last attempt by my body to get a few desperate Zzzzz’s.

And yet, at Gracie’s 4 month well-visit, I asked the question that I already secretly knew the answer to.  At 26 inches long, my once tiny newborn was too long for her little napper.  How could this be?



The evening after her appointment, I found myself once again dreading bedtime as it approached.  How could it be time for us to separate, even just slightly?  How would I sleep without those sweet baby snores?  How could I feel safe with her two doors down?  Would she miss me?  Should she miss me?

Bedtime that night came with tears, but not from who you’d expect.  As she took her last feeding, and we sat down to rock for a bit, the experts from the internet screamed in my subconscious.  “Lay her down sleepy, don’t rock to sleep, she’ll never sleep alone, you’ll be rocking her to sleep until college!!”

Her sweet, chubby hand was resting on my arm when I decided it was now or never.  I set her down on her crib mattress, she stirred, and then she drifted back off.  That night, she woke up once.

We also started cereal two weeks ago, and apples last week!  Our hungry little baby seems is accepting the variety.  Most nights, I can’t feed her fast enough!  Every trip back to the bowl for more is often punctuated by impatient little baby grunts.

It’s been a long few weeks, but I’m proud to say that after a few nights awake and loud, Gracie is doing quite well in her crib.  More often than not, she wakes up once.  I’ll take it!

Even if she never slept through the night again, I’d still be thankful.  She’s worth every sleepless night, every poo and puke stain, every rushed dinner…every new and different part of my new mommy life.  I’m just so happy to have her.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: