Category: my writings
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i am doing what i can
If you’ve been around the internet for more than 10 minutes, you’ve likely run into people complaining about the state of the world today. Apparently kids these days are just the worst, although I happen to disagree. Because we have information available 24/7, the fallacy that things are worse than ever is easy to accept…
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mama: sometimes, you gotta say yes
Do you ever surprise yourself? I am not only referring to what you can accomplish but also, in how you treat yourself. Have you ever been presented with an opportunity that sounds wonderful, but instead of thinking of ways to make it happen, you start thinking of how you’re going to say no? Yea, me…
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imposter syndrome and motherhood
For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to be a mom. I hoped for it, and after our loss, I prayed it was still in the cards. In this, as my “rainbow baby” pregnancy with Gracie was coming to a close, I sat in the hospital bed perplexed. Perfect pregnancy, healthy baby…I finally…
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“in pieces:” losing a baby changed our marriage
For better or for worse, in sickness and in health. We say it and we mean it, but nothing will truly prepare you to see your spouse broken. As you watch the face you know so well fall, you feel their heart shatter. You catch little glimpses of the parent they want to be, but…
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to all the parents who had a tough morning
To the mama who was late today: I see you. The mama who planned to eat a hot breakfast, but got side-tracked and surrendered to another chalky bar bound together by fiber and protein. The mama who packed the lunches they won’t eat, made the coffee she won’t finish, carefully selected the outfits destine for…
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smile at your baby
“A smile is the universal welcome.” Max Eastman When Gracie was first born, I was forced to come to terms with how scared I was to be a mom again. I was learning to parent with a heart that knew the sting of massive loss. In a way, I was a first-time mom, but I…
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the lost art of asking
I was working in our study one early January morning, gazing out the window and noting our lack of snow. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticing a young woman sprinting across the front lawn. Our house is set far back and not super easy to get to; unexpected visits aren’t something that…
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“in pieces:” loving your body after loss
This is a hard season for self-love. Images of perceived perfection dance slightly out of reach as companies work to profit off our self-doubts. Nothing about our physical bodies drastically changes as December flips to January; yet as the year turns over, we are suddenly in drastic need of fixing. Whether it be an early…
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the thing i should not say
Potty words. Every preschooler knows them; these are the words we can only say in the bathroom. And without trying too hard, I can think of a few extra-bad potty words. Ones that I can’t say here, or in front of my kids, and I try not to say ever. Most have 4 letters exactly.…
my western nest 